The Second American Republic
by nikkilittle
Summary: Alice and the third Mrs. Hatter go uptop on a shopping trip and discover how much the post-revolution United States has changed. Alternate Universe: a modern American Alice in a real Wonderland.


The Second American Republic

by Nikki Little

Chapter 1: "Preparations"

Alice had never invited me along on a shopping trip uptop before. She had always expressed concern that I was one of the most recognizable women on Earth, and if I was recognized, that she would be recognized a few seconds later. The movie "Mean Girls" made me famous. The Second Republic eight years after the revolution in 2032 had no law enforcement officers gunning for Alice, but the place still had a problem with terrorists offered an enormous bounty for Alice's head on a stick. So Alice always went into the Second Republic only under heavy disguise: commonplace cheap dress, make-up, glasses, and an auburn wig. She expected me to do the same. First problem was my dress. Alice was in my bedroom.

"You can't wear that uptop. It will attract attention."

She was probably objecting to the dress being tight. Yeah, I knew. All the dresses in my closet were a size ten and they had all gotten a bit tight over the last year. I was a size six when I married Hatter about three decades ago. Hollywood skinny. Too skinny. I'm five feet five. I had been resisting going into the Gnome dress shop and having them let out because I was afraid Hatter would find out and put me on a diet. Since he does most of the cooking, that would be easy to do.

"You can't wear something with a neckline that low," said Alice. She didn't mention the dress being tight. "You're only a few inches taller than Arianne. It's always possible one of her old dresses might fit you. Why don't we go rooting through her old storage? It's in the basement of our house. It's not locked up."

"Arianne has old dresses small enough to fit me?"

"Believe it or not, she was skinny once."

"Let's go."

Alice got out her bong and smoke portal powder and puffed a lazy, swirling portal for us direct to the basement of her house. Alice stepped through first and I followed. In the basement, there were shelves lining all the walls and big boxes with labels on them. There were three boxes labeled "Arianne Old Clothes." I was surprised to discover that there were size fours in one box. It was hard to imagine the buxom Arianne ever that tiny. In the third box I found what I was looking for: some size twelves. Alice noticed the size when I pulled out the dresses and smirked at me.

"Aren't you a size ten?"

"Shut up!" I said. I tried the size twelves on and to my surprise they fit. The shoulders were right. The waist fell in the right place. They were comfortably loose. No tight spots anywhere. I put one on and folded up the other size twelves and my own dress. Alice opened a portal back to my bedroom and I hung the dresses up in my closet. Back through the portal.

Arianne's old size 12 dresses gave me nothing to complain about, although, from my point of view, the high necklines were depressingly modest. I admit that I like to show off what I've got. That's what got me the role of Hermione in that Saturday Night Live skit. My breasts were the star of that skit. The directors had the rest of my body stuffed into a corset, though. It was hidden under my Hogwarts uniform.

"Perfect fit," said Alice. "Problem solved." Alice looked me up and down. "Don't worry. You do not look chubby. I don't see any bulges anywhere. You look just about right for your height. As long as you wear clothes that fit, Hatter will never suspect a thing."

I looked Alice up and down. For five years after the revolution, Alice had restrained her lust for chocolate and had limited herself to half a bar a day. Then one day she gave in to the siren call of Valrhona, Lindt, and Ghirardelli. She had said that Hatter's climate change projections predicted that chocolate would disappear from the Earth sometime between 2060 and 2065. She decided to eat all the chocolate she wanted while it was still available.

Within a year, Alice's body had transformed. Chubby again, but not as much as before the revolution. She was, I think, somewhere around 160 pounds. The weight looked good on Alice, though. She had an obvious waist and was much more curvaceous. The only negative was the squishy roll below her waist.

Alice's face was perfect: heart-shaped with cute chubby cheeks and light freckles everywhere. She was ageless: a perpetual 47 thanks to drinking Wonderland's water for 30 years. She looked 32.

I had been a voluptuous type once. Busty with wide hips and a lush bottom. Before Hollywood got hold of me and forced me to starve off my boobs, hips, and ass. Bastards.

Alice walked over to another box labeled "Wigs" and opened it up.

"Brunette or auburn?" she asked. Since Alice was wearing an auburn wig, I decided to go with a brunette wig. My hair was short enough to disappear easily under the wig. Alice, poor thing, had gotten her long hair cut into a pageboy so that it was short enough to disappear under her auburn wig. Alice loved her long hair. I'll bet it was torture for her to get it cut short.

Alice walked over to another box labeled "Props." She pulled out two clear polycarbonate glasses and put one over her face. It fit perfectly. Instant owl. Made her look smart. Alice handed me the other and it didn't fit. She walked over to a basement tub faucet, held the glasses under running hot water, and bent the frames a bit. She handed me the glasses again. Still didn't fit. One more time under the running hot water, and the glasses fit well enough. Instant librarian. Ugh! I checked my make-up. It was about time for Wonderland's water to stop me from aging, too. Thank God. Just in time. I looked about 40.

"I think we're ready for our trip uptop," said Alice. "Ready to go?"

End of Chapter 1

Chapter 2: "Swilly's After the Revolution"

Alice and I decided to eat first before we did anything else. Both of us had 300 luxury credits with us obtained by selling brandy. There was no longer any need to resort to the black market to sell Wonderland product.

Hatter went uptop and sold Wonderland's brandy openly to luxury goods sellers. Most of the sellers gave us a good price, although there were a few who tried to lowball Hatter. Hatter is no fool and simply walked out on the lowballers. Not a word. He just turned around and headed out the door. Wonderland, after all, didn't have to sell its brandy. We did have the capability of making all of the barest necessities. We even had mines for copper and tin. The gnomes made some very basic cookware out of tin. There was also a glassworks in Wonderland.

We came out of a portal surrounded by trees in a downtown park in Cincinnati, Ohio. This was Alice's favorite entry point for Cincinnati because we could come out of a portal with no one seeing us. Most of the time. Alice says a homeless man once saw her come out of a portal in this park and freaked. He ran screaming about a space alien. According to Alice, the poor fellow left his joint behind.

Alice and I left the park and strolled on the downtown sidewalks. We passed a Swilly's and I suggested eating there. Alice made a face.

"We're in downtown Cincinnati with good restaurants everywhere and you want to eat in a Swilly's?"

"Do you really want to blow one-third of our luxury credits on a meal that's no better than Hatter's cooking?" I responded.

Alice saw the light. Meals at Hatter's parties were as good as any five-star restaurant. She agreed. We went into Swilly's. It was only Alice's third time in her life. We were both in for a shock.

Swilly's was now a cafeteria. It reminded me of pictures of old factory cafeterias. You picked up a tray and slid it down a line just like in an American school. Alice got baked fish, rice, and steamed baby carrots. I looked at the other stuff, but ended up getting the same items as Alice. Both of us picked up a plastic tumbler, filled it with ice, and got black tea. There was no cashier. No one to take money. Alice and I were confused. The last employee in the line placed a milk chocolate bar on our trays. She saw our confusion.

"This is a government cafeteria. Swilly's is now publicly owned. No one pays. As you can see, this isn't exactly a five-star establishment. Swilly's is still where ordinary people eat. No homeless people hanging out here anymore, though. Thank God. There are no more homeless."

I noticed a face and a quote on the wall behind the woman who had just placed chocolate bars on our trays. Alice's face was on the wall with a brief quotation.

"In a just world, every person has the chance to eat chocolate. In a just world, every person has a chance to eat."

"You can thank Alice of Wonderland for the chocolate bar," said the woman at the end of the tray line. "It's a tradition here. Everybody gets a 2-ounce bar of chocolate for dessert. It's not Lindt, but it's not bad. It's made here in the U.S."

I looked at the picture of Alice's face on the wall. It was Alice at her heaviest. Alice's face on the wall was almost cherubic in its fullness. Alice next to me had a face not quite as full. I made sure not to look at her. I thought it quite unlikely that anyone would recognize her if the face on the wall was what they were expecting. We walked over to the tables and sat down facing each other at a table for two. There were other quotations on the walls.

"The revolution is a dictatorship of the exploited against the exploiters. -Fidel Castro"

"Money is a mirage. -Alice of Wonderland"

"It takes a different value system if you wish to change the world. -Jacque Fresco"

"Sometimes to do the right thing, you have to break a law. -Edward Snowden"

"What's breaking into a bank compared with founding a bank? -Bertolt Brecht"

There were murals, too. There was one of Alice throwing a sword at the U.S. capitol building. There was a sentence at the bottom. "Every revolution has its catalyst." There was a mural of masses of people crammed into prisons. It had a sentence at the bottom, too. "Jails are not a solution to poverty." Another mural showed on one side empty foreclosed homes and on the other side homeless people. This time a question. "Must everything be paid for?" My head was spinning. This was the sort of thing that the First Republic had condemned as "communist propaganda." But what if the "propaganda" was true?

Alice and I turned our attention to the fish, rice, and carrots steaming on our plates. Alice took a bite of fish and rice together and her eyes popped open in surprise.

"Holy crap! This is actually good. The rice is good, too. Not salty. Not the usual dried-out stuff dipped out of a rice cooker."

I took a taste of the fish and rice. I tasted spices, not salt. It was as good as Hatter's cooking. I could taste butter in the fish. The rice tasted like it was made with olive oil. Hatter used olive oil for rice and sautéing. When we finished our meals, Alice unwrapped her chocolate bar without hesitation. I sat and stared at mine. I couldn't decide whether to eat it or not.

"Are you going to eat that chocolate bar, or continue to stare at it as if it were poison?" asked Alice.

I didn't say a word. I just kept looking at the chocolate bar. I couldn't decide whether to eat it or not.

"Alice, I just went up a dress size. Have some mercy."

Alice leaned forward putting her cheek on the back of her right hand.

"I know what this is about," she said. "You're afraid Hatter will dump you if he thinks you're the slightest bit chubby. Caterpillar and I have talked about this. If Hatter ever dumps you for a superficial reason such as your weight or because he thinks you're a little too fond of alcohol, you can move into one of the empty rooms in my house in Pandemonium. There are several empty rooms in there. You'd probably be put in Bernie Sanders' old room. It's been vacant since he died. You're one of us now. You're the most effective taste tester the brewery has ever had. No one in Wonderland has gotten sick from bad brandy since you became the taste tester."

"What if I walked away from Hatter because I was tired of him?"

"That would probably tick Caterpillar off. You were brought to Wonderland to be Hatter's wife so he would stop bothering the other women. If you walked away, he might want to kick you out. I would vote against that, and I'm sure Bill McGill would vote against it, too. However, that's only two votes. Being personally involved in the matter, Hatter would not be allowed to vote. I don't know how the other members of the old guerrilla council would vote. You aren't considering that, are you?"

"No, Hatter's actually a decent husband. My only two complaints are that he's so ugly I have to get drunk to have sex with him, and he tries to control everything I eat or drink. He can't, of course, but he tries."

"Eat the chocolate," said Alice. She unwrapped the bar and shoved it in front of me. "Eat the chocolate!" she repeated.

I stared at that damn chocolate bar for about thirty more seconds, and then I gave in. I ate it. And I felt guilty. Why?

End of Chapter 2

Chapter 3: "The Private Dress Shop"

Alice and I left Swilly's and walked down the sidewalk of a main street in Cincinnati. There was a middle-aged white cop on the corner who looked us over. After a few seconds, he turned his attention elsewhere. I guess he decided we weren't a threat. Alice didn't bring any weapons with her, in case you're wondering. A few moments later, he stopped a black man and frisked him. Some things never change. The black man had nothing on him and was sent on his way a few moments later. After a few minutes, Alice and I passed in front of a small private dress shop which had a warning on the front door. "Luxury goods store. All items have prices."

"Want to go in?" I asked Alice. She nodded her head. We walked in and headed for the A-line dresses. Alice and I were both immediately disappointed. The sizes only went up to ten. The owner came back to ask if we had found anything we wanted and Alice practically snorted with laughter.

"There's nothing here that will fit me!"

The owner looked me over and smiled.

"You look like a ten. I'm sure I can find something you'll like."

"I can fit in a ten, but it's not a good fit," I responded. I pointed to my hips and butt.

"If you want a size twelve or bigger, you'll have to go to a plus-size shop. Your friend is definitely a plus size."

I looked at the owner incredulous. "Size twelve is plus-sized?" I asked.

"Most regular clothes stores only go up to size ten," the owner answered.

"Is that all women's clothes stores, or just the private luxury shops?" asked Alice.

"The private luxury shops go up to size ten for regular dresses. The government stores have all sizes, but you probably won't like what you find there. The dresses in the government stores look like Cheapmart dresses. Remember those? Made in Bangladesh? They're hideous."

"We'll take our chances in a government store," Alice responded. She looked irritated. I was wondering if she would say something snotty. Out we went.

End of Chapter 3

Chapter 4: "The Plus-Size Dress Shop"

Alice and I walked a bit farther down the street and came to the "Beaux Arts Plus-Size Clothes Shop." This shop also had the warning on the door. "Luxury goods store. All items have prices." Alice and I walked in.

This shop had a more pleasant ambiance than the previous shop, but it didn't take Alice and I long to discover that most of the dresses in this shop were empire-waist dresses and tent dresses. Dresses for women with no waist and big bellies. Ugh! We were about to leave when the owner came darting out from a back room.

"Wait! There's another room back here that has dresses that will be more to your liking. Most of them are A-line dresses, but you'll also find some fit-and-flare dresses."

Alice and I followed the owner into the back room and we looked through the A-line dresses on the racks. I whispered to Alice. "I'll bet we could find the same dresses in a government free store." Alice and I tried on some of the dresses and we did find some dresses that fit well. The supposed "luxury dresses" looked just the same as Cheapmart dresses to us. Alice thanked the owner for her time and headed straight for the door. No dawdling on the way out. Alice really knows how to say "No."

I did look back as we walked down the street. The shop owner was standing in the doorway looking very pissed off.

End of Chapter 4

Chapter 5: "General Supply Store"

Alice and I continued down the street, and came to a big sign above a stairway going down underneath the sidewalk. It was the "Central Avenue and Sixth Street" subway entrance.

"Do you remember Cincinnati ever having a subway?" asked Alice.

"Nope," I responded. "Never. Let's use it."

Alice and I walked down the stairway and saw metal detectors at the bottom of the stairway. A transit cop was standing right by the metal detectors. There was also a dog with the cop. Was the dog for detecting explosives? I was grateful that Alice had had the foresight not to bring any weapons with her. I had no metal in my pockets. The few items I had were plastic. I had forgotten about something obvious, though. Alice set off the metal detector.

"Empty your pockets, please," said the officer. He did not seem threatened or concerned in any way. Alice held up two keys, and a small metal tin holding her smoke portal powder. She opened it for the officer.

"Doesn't quite look like marijuana or tobacco. Is that some kind of blend?"

"You could say that," answered Alice.

"Remember to lose that if you cross any international borders. Have a nice day."

The cop waved us on. Marijuana was legal in the Second Republic. No restrictions on use. I heaved a sigh of relief. Alice seemed unconcerned. We headed toward a big map of the subway system mounted on a wall. Alice was looking for how to get to the nearest former location of a Cheapmart.

"Follow me," said Alice. "I think I know where to find a large government free goods store."

The subway had no tickets or tokens to buy. There were no turnstiles. It was all free. There was a train arriving every six minutes. I was completely disoriented at the idea of being able to use public transportation without paying.

Two line changes and 40 minutes later we were at the western edge of Cincinnati and exiting the subway near the location of a former Cheapmart. The store looked sort of the same, but had a new name. "General Supply Store." There was a sign on the door. "No prices. No cash registers. Take what you want and scram."

"That's charming," I said. Alice thought it was hilarious. We walked back to the plus-size dresses and saw almost exactly what we had seen in the small independent plus-size dress shop. Lots of empire-waist and tent dresses for women with no waist and big bellies.

"Does everybody think that plus-size women are shapeless blobs?" asked Alice. I felt uncomfortable in the plus-size section. Like I didn't really belong there. I was so used to the old rule of plus sizes beginning with 14. We walked over to the racks at the back of the plus-size section. We found the same A-line dresses we had tried on in the independent plus-size dress shop. There was a warning poster on the wall next to the racks.

"A fool and her luxury credits are soon parted. Beware of scam shops selling free goods."

"Some things never change," said Alice with a mournful sigh. "Someone always want to get paid for nothing."

Alice and I wandered through the racks and noticed that this store had the best selection of plus-size clothes we had encountered so far. Alice and I both picked up some lingerie and socks. There were all sorts of body shapers and corsets available. Alice seemed to be a bit disturbed by that. We passed all that stuff up. I had nothing to hold in, and Alice refused to wear body shapers.

"The clothes here give me a new appreciation of the Gnome seamstresses," said Alice. "They make better clothes with plain heavy cotton broadcloth."

Alice wandered over to the party dresses, something that the Gnome seamstresses had never made. I spotted an off-the-shoulder skater dress and winced.

"That looks hazardous. Like a wardrobe malfunction just waiting to happen."

Alice spotted a see-through dress and groaned. We continued looking wondering if there was anything there that we would find acceptable. After about ten minutes, we gave up on the party dresses. I spotted a rack of plus-size spring dresses. Alice settled on a knee-length floral print dress with loops and a sash for the waist and pleats below the waist. The neckline plunged to show off cleavage. I shot Alice a puzzled look in the dressing room.

"That's more daring than what you usually wear."

"Sometimes I want to show off what I've got. What's the point of having C-cups if you aren't going to show them off occasionally? Besides, this dress has the all-important pleats to hide the roll below my waist."

I looked the dress up and down and asked Alice a question.

"Did you see that dress in a size 12?"

There were two of the dress in a size 12, and I took them both. Alice had one dress, lingerie, and socks. I had two dresses, lingerie, and socks. Alice and I picked up paper sacks which were placed at the ends of the aisles and poked our booty in. We headed out the door without stopping at a cash register. To get out, we had to walk past what looked like metal detectors. I heard the detectors click several times as we walked past. Automated inventory keeping. Every item had an RFID tag. When we walked past the detector, every item was subtracted from the inventory.

"This truly feels weird not having to line up at a cash register in order to leave," Alice observed.

"Did you look at the tag on the dresses? Made here in the Second Republic. Not the usual Bangladesh, Indonesia, Vietnam, or China."

"Let's head for some trees in a park somewhere."

I knew what that meant. Alice wanted to blow a portal back to Wonderland to dump our booty and then return. We ended up dumping everything on Alice's bed and then dashing back through the smoke portal to return before it closed. Nobody saw us use the portal in the park.

End of Chapter 5

Chapter 6: "In Search of Chocolate"

Alice and I walked back to the General Supply Store and headed into the grocery area. Alice was searching for chocolate. We did find chocolate bars there, but there was only one type. It was the same generic chocolate bar that we gotten in Swilly's. There were three choices: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate. That was it. No chocolate bars with nuts or crisped rice added. Alice got a paper bag at the end of the aisle and dumped ten milk chocolate bars in it.

"Anything you want to get?" Alice asked me.

I wandered over to the tea area, and encountered the same very basic selection. Everything on the shelf was generic. It was labeled simply by type. No brand names in view anywhere. I dumped two 100-teabag boxes of white tea into Alice's bag. Alice dumped two 100-teabag boxes of Earl Grey tea into her bag.

"For Hatter," she said. We both walked out past the RFID detectors and heard the clicks again as our items were subtracted from inventory.

"So what do you think?" asked Alice.

"About what?"

"About the idea of being able to go into a store and take things you need without paying for them."

"I'm still dizzy from the idea of not having to pay," I answered. "It's as if shoplifting were legalized."

"The items available look very basic, but perhaps getting away from the practice of branding is a good idea. Nobody runs advertisements for generic goods. Remember how advertising was everywhere in the First Republic? It was constantly right in your face. Now it seems much more limited."

"So where do we go next?" I asked Alice.

"Back to the park so we can dump our loot."

We walked back to the park, hid in the trees, dashed into a smoke portal to dump our loot onto Alice's bed again, and came back through. Lucky again. Nobody saw us.

"So where now?" I asked.

"A candy store," responded Alice. "I want to have at least a few bars of Valrhona or Lindt to show for my trip."

"Oh, great!" I said. "More temptation for me!"

"If you want chocolate, you should eat it!" said Alice. "Stop torturing yourself!"

I kept quiet as Alice and I continued walking down the main street with all sorts of glitzy small shops beckoning us to enter and unload some luxury credits. I thought that while things had improved considerably for the poor, the Second Republic still had a sizable gulf between ordinary people who probably got most of their goods in government free stores and the affluent who had access to all the luxury goods they could want.

"Are you satisfied with how the revolution turned out?" I asked Alice.

"I'll be satisfied when there is nothing but jewelry, automobiles, and mansions left in the luxury category."

"You want the Second Republic to be like us, don't you?"

"Yes. No more separation. No more division. No more exclusion. I want what Jack London called 'The Brotherhood of Man.' That's from 'The Iron Heel' if you're wondering."

We encountered a small candy shop and entered. Alice's eyes lit up like those of a five-year-old boy on Halloween night in the First Republic. All I could think of was calories.

Everything had prices, of course. There was a cash register right by the doorway. The owner greeted us as we walked in and mercifully left us to ourselves as we wandered the aisles gazing at all the sugary, tooth-decaying treats. Alice found what she wanted. Valrhona milk chocolate bars. Ten luxury credits each. Alice gasped in astonishment. She picked up ten bars of Ghirardelli Milk Chocolate which were 3.5 luxury credits each. Alice looked at me and picked up five Lindt Milk Chocolate bars which were also 3.5 luxury credits each.

"The Lindt is for you," said Alice. I protested, but she ignored me.

Alice paid at the cash register, the owner placed our chocolate bars in a paper bag, and back to the park we went to pass through another smoke portal and dump our booty on Alice's bed.

"One more stop," said Alice after we returned to the uptop world.

"We got clothes and chocolate," I said. "What's left to buy?"

"A chess set and chess board," said Alice. "We need to find an internet cafe to find out if there are any shops in Cincinnati that sell chess sets and chess boards."

End of Chapter 6

Chapter 7: "The Internet Cafe"

It didn't take much walking down Sixth Street to find an internet cafe. Right across from Fountain Square we found what obviously had been a Panera. As usual, there was a sign on the door. "Computer usage, internet, and ice water are free. Everything else has a price. No food or drink next to computers. This rule is enforced." We walked in.

The computers were all located along the walls with the screens in full view of everyone. Zero privacy. The computers were all old desktop towers hooked up to even older flat-screen displays. I glanced at the screens as Alice and I walked by. Every computer was running Linux. No Windows here. There wasn't a single Mac in sight. I felt right at home.

Alice and I took empty seats next to computers at the back of the shop. Mission: find a store in Cincinnati close to a subway stop selling chess sets. We opened up web browsers and typed "Chess Sets Retail Cincinnati" into Google. There was one shop selling chess sets in all of Cincinnati. It was at the corner of Ninth and Walnut. Easily close enough to walk. We got up to look at what was offered as food and drink.

The menu was in colored chalk on a large genuine slate blackboard. Various tea drinks were all two luxury credits each. Various coffee drinks were four luxury credits each. Soft drinks were three luxury credits each. Cold sandwiches such as egg salad, tuna salad, and chicken salad on plain white bread were three luxury credits each. Hot sandwiches made in a panini press were six luxury credits each.

The prices struck me as quite cheap compared to what prices for similar items had been in the old First Republic. Of course, the sandwiches were relatively cheap because many of the ingredients were free foodstuffs. Alice and I both both bought an iced tea drink. We paid at the cash register in the old style. Our iced tea drinks were served in large sturdy glass tumblers. No throw-away cups with a plastic lid on top. Waxed paper straws which I knew would last about ten minutes before they became too soggy to use. We sat down at the tables located in the center of the shop.

As we sat drinking our tea, Alice and I looked around at the other customers. Alice noticed something that I had not noticed.

"Have you noticed that there are no skinny or fat people in here? Everybody here looks more or less normal."

"Except you," I teased. It was true. Everybody else ranged from sort-of-skinny to sort-of-chubby. Alice was the only voluptuous type in the shop. I fit right in with the crowd.

"If the food now being served in Swilly's is typical of what people are eating, then it's no wonder that everybody looks healthy," I said. "I haven't seen a single homeless person or beggar. Do you remember what downtown areas were like in the years of the First Republic before begging became a crime?"

"I remember," said Alice. She did not elaborate. We finished our tea, placed our glasses on a dirty dishes cart, and left. We began walking toward the chess shop at Ninth and Walnut.

End of Chapter 7

Chapter 8: "The Chess Shop"

As Alice and I walked toward the chess shop, it finally dawned on me that there was something missing from the landscape.

"Have you noticed that all the corporate chain restaurants have disappeared?" I asked.

"We just ate at Swilly's."

"Swilly's doesn't count. It's not what it used to be. There are no traditional chain restaurants in sight. All I've seen are retro little coffee shops, cafes, and small independent restaurants. All the former chain restaurant locations are now occupied by independents."

Alice looked around. No big garish chain restaurant signs anywhere in view. Most retail was small shops, too. The character of Cincinnati had changed. It was more like some quaint small English village. The only thing missing was cobblestone streets. Traffic on the streets was much less than in the days of the First Republic. I saw buses going back and forth constantly.

"Have you seen any banks?" asked Alice. "Surely there must be a few left."

"No banks, but I'm sure there are still a few somewhere."

We found out later that people kept their savings at post office savings accounts. There were still banks, but just a few. The big regional Federal Reserve banks still existed. We reached Ninth Street and Walnut and looked around for the chess shop.

It took a few moments to spot the shop. No big signs. No garish chess set graphic in the window. Just "WorldWide Chess Sets" in Roman letters over the top of the door and a hand-lettered sign in the door.

"Hybrid shop. Most items have prices. Some free items. Must go through cash register for inventory purposes."

"Shall we enter?" I asked. Alice opened the door way. The first chess set we saw was marked "FREE" and also had a sign next to it. "Only chess set manufactured in United States." It was labeled "Pinney Liberty Replica Set." The owner walked out from a back room.

"That free set is ironically one of the best chess sets in the shop. It is hand-lathed on the same machinery that made the vintage Pinney Liberty Chess Sets. One design change was made to avoid the new sets being confused with the old sets. The new sets are made from American Hornbeam and are practically indestructable. The white pieces have a natural finish and the black pieces have a brown stain."

The shop owner reached under the counter for two heavy paper handled shopping bags and proceeded to put one wood box containing a Pinney Liberty Replica Set in each. He handed a bag to each of us.

"Now would you like to see some of the other sets?"

This struck Alice and me as an unusual way to do business. I wondered how many people took the free set and then just left. Alice and I definitely wanted to see the rest of the sets.

"This set is the Wegiel Staunton Number 6 made in Poland which is used in chess clubs throughout Europe and in chess tournaments in Russia. It is also made of Hornbeam and is nearly indestructable. Like the free set, the white pieces have a natural finish and the black pieces have a brown stain. The brown stain is rather uneven which gives the pieces a rustic, antiqued look which some people like and some people hate. These are the cheapest of the luxury chess sets. These are what I use at home. Each set comes with its own wooden box for storage and each set plus wooden box costs 50 luxury credits. I think it's a bargain. I love these sets. Would you both like one?"

"We'd like to see the rest of the sets before we make any decisions," said Alice.

"Not going to take the free set and run, eh? That's good. Some people do that. Poor people who can't afford to pay. I do not begrudge them a set. I'm glad that they can leave with something."

Alice and I looked at each other. I could not help myself.

"You are not like any businessman I've ever encountered!" I said.

"I am a chessplayer first and a businessman second. No one leaves without a set - even if it's the free set which brings me no profit. I remember what it was like to walk into a chess club and see those poor souls with a ratty dog-chewed plastic club special set and a vinyl board that would never lay flat. You would not believe how many chess sets I gave away in the old First Republic. Most of the sets I gave away were the Polish Staunton Number 6 sets. They were the cheapest usable wood sets back then. I couldn't stand to see poor people wander into a chess club with chess sets that were unusable. Some of those poor people were master-strength players. Some of them were chess hustlers at the tables in Fountain Square."

Alice and I wandered over to the chess sets made in India. Almost all wood chess sets in the world were made in India. The only exceptions were the Wegiel sets from Poland and the Pinney Liberty Replica sets made in the United States. The prices ranged from 100 luxury credits for low-detail sturdy sets made for playing up 1,000 luxury credits for highly detailed "display sets" with elaborate hand-carved knights. Alice looked over the sets and picked out a Soviet Replica set which cost 150 luxury credits. I picked out a Zagreb Replica set with its distinctive opposite tops on the King, Queen, and Bishops. It cost 120 luxury credits.

No wood box with these sets. The owner pulled sealed cardboard boxes of the sets from his supply room and placed them on the counter next to the cash register. All of the sets from India came with extra Queens. Alice and I started looking through the chessboards. The simple handmade wood chessboards from the Gnomes were more to my liking than any of the chessboards in the shop. Alice and I decided that we were ready to leave and went to the cash register to pay. The owner scanned the bar codes on all of the sets and charged us for the luxury sets.

"If you find any bad pieces in the boxes, just bring the bad piece and your receipt back and I'll replace it. The Liberty Pinney Replica sets are guaranteed forever. Just bring the bad piece back and I'll replace it. You don't even need a receipt. Of course, you could just pick up another set and use it as a source of replacement pieces."

Alice and I thanked the shopkeeper and exited back out onto the street.

"Are you ready to go home for today?" I asked.

"I think so. No more shopping for today."

End of Chapter 8

Chapter 9: "Loot"

We arrived in Alice's bedroom to divide up our loot. I took out my two dresses, lingerie, socks, two boxes of white tea bags, two boxes of Earl Grey tea bags, one Pinney Liberty Replica chess set, one Zagreb replica chess set, and the five bars of Lindt milk chocolate that Alice bought for me. I loaded everything into two bags and set them aside in front of Alice's door.

"You want to try on that dress you got again?" I asked Alice.

"You wanting to see me in lingerie again?"

"I want to see how the dress fits again."

Alice took off her dress and tried on again the free floral print dress with a plunging neckline and a waist sash. The dress was made of thin material and a had a feeling that Alice was going to be disappointed when she saw herself in it again.

"Well, it does do a good job of showing off your curves. It clings in the right places. Your breasts are sure to be the center of attention. It also clings in the wrong places."

"How so?" asked Alice.

"Turn for me again," I said.

Alice turned for me in the dress and I winced.

"Alice, the pleats in that dress don't hide anything. The material is too thin. You might as well wear a bodycon dress as that."

"I kind of suspected that the thin material wouldn't hide anything. I can still wear it to Hatter's parties."

"Why Hatter's parties?"

"As long as Hatter thinks I'm a fatty, he won't bother me if anything ever happens to you. A chocolate bar a day keeps Hatter lust away."

I couldn't restrain a snicker at Alice's last line. Alice gave me a long slow look. It wasn't lust. It didn't look like love. It looked like need.

"Promise me you won't get yourself eaten by a killer mushroom like Sarah Palin!"

Alice had both hands on my shoulders. She wasn't joking.

"Uh, that should be easy for me. I stay away from the dangerous areas by habit, and I always keep an eye out for those oversized mushrooms even when I'm drunk. I will never slay a killer mushroom like Sarah. I'm perfectly content to leave that job to you."

Alice pulled her hands away from my shoulders. I slipped behind Alice, wrapped my left arm around her, and squeezed her roll right below the belly button with my right hand.

"Would it kill you to cut back on the chocolate? You do have quite a kangaroo pouch down here."

Alice giggled and made no effort to swat my hand away. Not the reaction I was expecting.

"Yeah, it would kill me to cut back on chocolate," answered Alice. "Chocolate could disappear from the Earth completely in as little as twenty years. I'd rather be a happy little pudgeball blissfully licking chocolate from her fingers than a skinny, miserable shrew who is constantly restraining herself."

"You're not calling me a skinny, miserable shrew are you?"

"You're normal, not skinny, and you're not bossy enough to be a shrew. You only seem miserable when you're staring at a chocolate bar. Stop torturing yourself. You won't balloon if you give in only occasionally. Remember that saying about moderation in all things? That applies to restraint in eating habits, too."

At that point Alice surprised me. She turned around, stood on tip-toe, wrapped both arms around my neck, squashed her breasts into mine, and gave me a passionate thirty-second kiss. Intense warmth. Lightning. Electric shock. Head spinning like vertigo. Ecstasy. And then it was over.

"I know you like me, Lindsay," she said. "But we both already have someone. So the kiss is all you get."

Was it pity? I wasn't sure. Alice already had an arm around my waist and grinned at me.

"Let me change, pick up your stuff, and then let's walk over to Hatter's castle for the meal that he's almost certainly waiting to start for you. He won't mind one guest, will he? Especially when that guest comes with a new chess set to play a few games?"

If there's one thing I knew about Hatter, it was that he loved to play chess, and that he lived for the rare occasions that he won a game from Alice. Alice changed her dress to a Gnome-made heavy cotton pinafore with pleats that did an excellent cover job, and off we walked though Wonderland Woods along a wide flat-stone path to Hatter's castle. I was silently exulting in the undeniable fact that Hatter was always too tired for sex after getting whomped by Alice at the chessboard. One night of guaranteed peace in bed. Alice's new chess set dangled in a drawstring bag in her hand.

The End


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